:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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