Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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