Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.

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(415): View more from California

Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?

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(205): View more from Alabama

i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP

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(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

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(817): View more from Texas

I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.

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(712): View more from Iowa

please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that

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(303): View more from Colorado

jump out the window naked night went bad

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