just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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