I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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