you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
