The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
