oh god the rape fog is back!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's the barista slut.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
