i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
did i walk over a car last night?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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