You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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