just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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