eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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