Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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