i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
