the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.