Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I will pee on everything he values.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's what I'm talking about
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.