I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating