i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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