Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
