1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
