just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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