i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
