College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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