If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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