I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dick very happy bro
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
