How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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