Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
sex in a hospital.. check
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
