idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I skipped work to stalk him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
