you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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