You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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