Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
