Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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