i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
