i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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