You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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