Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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