Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
