4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize