is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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