Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
