Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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