gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
