I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
