Don't you send me to vm
handjob tips. give me some.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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