everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
