my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
