this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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