i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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