So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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