I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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