For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
