I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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