I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
