Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
