Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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