K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
