Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
