Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
