You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
