then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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