problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize