so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
