My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize