And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
NoShamevember. You game?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
