My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
