So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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