i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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