I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
