I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
