i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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